Going Off of Auto-pilot and Taking Control of Your Life

Going Off of Auto-pilot and Taking Control of Your Life

Originally posted as: 3 Tips to Soothe Your Soul [November 2016] - Revised

Today I want to share some ideas for going off of autopilot and instead living your life on purpose.


There are definitely times when doing things automatically is beneficial – you've probably experienced days when you are learning something new and had to think all the time…it's absolutely exhausting and most of us need about a week to recover when that time is finally over. Unfortunately though, if you live in this 'auto-space' all the time, especially in areas of your life where it doesn't serve you (like relationships), you allow life to happen to you rather than living your life the way you want.

So today, I want to give you three ideas that you can use to live your life on purpose and by doing so, raise your vibrational energy, attract more positive things to you, get more done and feel much more vibrant, powerful and fulfilled.

Let me zero in for just a moment on vibrational energy. Everything in life is made up of energy including us.  What you think and how you feel influences the level you vibrate at which in turn affects what you are attracting into your life. This is what the law of attraction is based on, which many people learned about from The Secret and now roll their eyes when they even hear mention of it because it didn't work for them. The law of attraction is not wrong, it will produce results 100% of the time, when used properly…it's just understanding how to do it properly and then living in that space or flow most of the time, that is challenging.

To stay at a high vibrational level you pretty much have to live in a place of compassion, love, faith and gratitude. Think about that…do you spend most of your time feeling grateful and loving, accepting of everything and everyone around you… absolutely convinced you will be looked after no matter what happens in life?

Probably not. Most of us have not figured out how to do that yet.

So you go about living your life…often on autopilot – responding based on how you feel, which is tied in with what you think, skewed by what you believe and influenced by your social environment.

Living life – especially on autopilot – has a way of bringing us down on a regular basis. The density around us provides a constant pull – like gravity multiplied by 100 - meaning we have to stay tuned in and aware if we don't want to allow our energy to drop and attract back low level things.

If you really want to attract beautiful and positive things you have to practice living in that space of gratitude, faith, compassion and love.

Today I want to share 3 tips that will help get you started…or, if you're already consciously striving to keep your vibes up, then will help you continue on that path.

3 Tips for Going Off Auto-pilot & Raising your Vibrational Energy

Tip #1: Move out of the shadow and into the light.  Tune in to who you really are and let her shine!

What makes you tick, what are you passionate about, where are you holding back? Tuning into who you really are is a huge undertaking. Your personality, astrological signs, communication modes, learning style, love languages – even your eyes and the pattern in them (iridology) are just a few of the things that can help you understand yourself a little better.

You truly are unique and that is a wonderful thing.

So let's just focus on one little aspect of this… holding back.

Most of us have been trained to hide a little bit (or a lot) of who we are. Maybe you've been told you laugh too loud or you're too quick to trust other people. Maybe it's been suggested you daydream too much and need to spend more time focusing on getting things done. Labels like; you're lazy, scattered, impulsive, lack self-control… all influence who you are and what you believe about yourself. Even positive labels such as; she's the friendly one can affect how free you feel to be you.

You also could be in a job you don't really like, but are there because someone else felt that's where you should be. It's possible you feel afraid to course correct at this point in your life because you took schooling to get where you are or you've worked so hard to climb the ladder at work and to change now would seem like such a waste. Or maybe you're afraid if you stop you'll be seen as a quitter - a failure or people will think you're not smart enough, strong enough or committed enough to see things through.

Becoming aware of the areas of your life that are within your control and then using this awareness to help you make positive changes in your life is conscious living. Noticing where you feel stagnant, uninspired or held back and then thinking about what you might do to make things just a little better can be a really great starting place.

Living your life to please other people, pushing aside your real dreams and desires because you think (or have been told) they are too fanciful is stopping you from reaching your full potential.

When you consciously detect something is amiss, don't disregard it or push it aside because it's inconvenient. Instead, notice it, journal about it, explore it fully and see what comes to light.

We are at time in our evolution where we are all meant to awaken and start making things happen if we aren't already.

Sometimes the challenge is that we aren't consciously aware of the pattern or programming that is holding us back because it is only running in our subconscious mind (SCM).

I like to think of this part of the brain as the attic or storage room. There are all kinds of things you've put in there and forgotten about or maybe you've stored it without realizing because most of your programming was done in the first 7 years of life. It's even possible some of your storage isn't from this lifetime, but is leftover challenges from past lives.

The problem is the SCM computer runs in the background - all the time. Similar to a lot of software nowadays, your SCM pulls out your favorite programs and runs them for you. You don't even know they are playing, yet they influence somewhere around 95% of your daily existence.

The good news…

In the same way that making a trip to the attic and looking through that old album reminds you of that day you spent baking cookies with Grandma back when you were 4 years old…by shining a light into your SCM you can bring a program from the attic into your living room or conscious mind and, once you are aware, start making changes.

Some tools that can help pull memories out of your SCM; meditation, hypnotherapy,  past life regression, dream analysis…

Sometimes, it's like the attic door gets left open and something falls out… in reality the trigger might be a smell, sound, song, taste or emotional charge that shakes loose a memory and just like the meatball on top of spaghetti it rolls on out the door.

I recovered a repressed memory this way when I was in high school spying on a boy I liked. I was in the library pretending to be engrossed in a book on the shelf, my heart was pounding out of fear the boy might figure out I was watching him, when I suddenly realized the book I had picked up was on sexual abuse. At first I was super embarrassed and wanted to put it down, but I was also curious and something made me start flipping through the pages.

Within seconds I forgot all about the boy and suddenly found myself remembering situations with an adult in my life when I was young that were inappropriate and would qualify as abuse. Later I realized that these memories were shrouded in that same heightened emotion of 'getting caught' which is likely what triggered this repressed memory to surface. The abuse had stopped several years before, but that moment in the library suddenly brought it out of hiding.

Now that I had pulled up the memory I could delve into it which I did many times over the next several years.

Obviously these kinds of retrievals are hard to create – unless you've already noticed a pattern or problem that keeps coming up and decide you are ready to get help to deal with it. Otherwise it would be like trying to find 'something' in a haystack - because you wouldn't even know it was a needle you were look for.  I'll come back to my retrieval story later, but for now let me share a much simpler tool just to show you how you can start cleaning the attic on your own.

Choose a feeling that arises for you fairly often and seems to hold you back in life. It could anything – a desire to run from commitment; fear of abandonment; difficulty allowing yourself to love; fear of being tested, etc.If you want to (and it's safe to do so) close your eyes, empty your mind and breathe deeply to set the stage for this. For some you might do better with a piece of paper and writing utensil and others might prefer to walk while working through this process.Now think back to the first time in your life you can remember feeling this way.

For example, the feeling I decided to work on (many years ago now), was a sense that I wasn't as quick or as smart as others and that this is okay. I was happy to be mediocre.

When I started exploring this feeling I was taken back to my kindergarten days…

My kindergarten teacher created a train and when a student learned to tie their shoes their name was written on a train car and put up on the wall. A big deal was made when this happened and we checked in regularly to see who was on the train and who was not.

I can remember squirming about this because I wasn't able to consistently tie my shoes yet, but I also didn't want to be put in the spotlight by achieving this goal. We were supposed to show the teacher we could do it and being tested like that (especially if it was in front of the other kids) felt very scary to me.

What I realized when I discovered this memory was that I had internalized the idea that:

  • The smart kids are at the front of the train

  • Being smart meant being put on display and tested

  • Being slower meant not being singled out

  • I'm content to be slower than the other kids

Pulling this out of my attic as an adult allowed me to correct my faulty thinking.  As an adult I know that the ability to tie shoes has to do with fine motor skills – not how smart you are. Being 4 years old when I started school was the likely cause of struggling with some fine motor skills…this did not make me slow or stupid. I could be in whatever section of the train I wanted to be in.

Exploring this further I also learned I'm an introvert so I don't crave the spotlight, although I've realized that when I feel ready and go of my own accord I don't mind it as much. Going even further I recognized my intense fear at raising my hand in a class like setting was also connected to this…

The point that I'm making here, is that just a little exercise like this, can help you understand yourself better and change some of the patterns, beliefs or programming that are holding you back.

So commit to finding and revealing the real you – I guarantee you she is wonderful and worth exploring.

Tip #2: Open yourself up to receive – gifts, compliments, love, healing, a helping hand…


This sounds like such a simple thing to do, yet it is not. Most of us have been taught that to need something from someone else makes you weak, immodest or sets you up to owe them (principle of obligation) and we do not like to be indebted to others. This stops us from being a true team member and collaborating effectively, plus it robs us of the pleasure receiving can bring.

It's also common to struggle with guilt - which is often tied to vows of poverty you've taken in past lives! Many people feel unworthy of what they are receiving or feel concerned that their good fortune might make someone else feel bad because they aren't in the receiving lane with them.

The ability to receive is actually tied to the divine feminine. We will talk about this more on future shows, but for now, let me just say that if you struggle with receiving you can end up blocking everything you've ever desired from coming your way. Receiving and the pleasure it brings are two key pieces to filling up your tank so it's very important you learn how open up to it.

Here's a really simple task to increase your awareness in the area of receiving:

Tune in to what you do or say when someone tries to give you something. Let's start with a simple compliment or praise. Really notice your response (even if it's just in your head!).

For example, let's say you just ran a meeting at work and I came up to you after to say, "I just want to say you did a really awesome job chairing that meeting.:

How might you respond? Many people will do one of the following without even realizing it:

deflecting  - It was okay… so about the new system… correcting - It was the team, not just me denying  - Actually I had little to do with it, Bridgette looked after the food- and we all know good food makes for a good meeting. reciprocating  - Well thank you for coming – it's people like you who participate fully that make meetings work minimizing  - It was nothing, it's amazing how much software can help with something like this rejecting  - Well thanks, but I actually really messed up when I forgot to introduce Tom questioning - Really? Did you think it was okay? I thought it might have been moving to slowly, but we did end on time...

If you're honest with yourself, you'll likely find receiving a compliment can be quite a challenge. If so, that's where you'll start… see if instead of falling into any of these (or your own special) pattern, you can consciously absorb the moment and fully receive what has been given.

Feel the compliment, take it in, smile and respond with something like, "Thank you, it feels great to hear you say that."

Now, don't stop there. Just because you open up to receiving compliments doesn't mean you're ready to accept gifts, a helping hand, a loving gesture…etc. Keep at it and for bonus vibrational energy, don't forget to express gratitude for all you receive.

Tip #3: Practice forgiving – every situation you encounter in life is meant to help you evolve as a soul.


This can be a hard pill to swallow if you've been abused, abandoned, traumatized, tortured or experienced other things in life that feel very personal and hurtful. So I say this with much compassion and love…forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.

Forgiveness allows you to take back the energy you are investing in being mad, hurt, ashamed, disgusted or revengeful and to instead surround yourself with the positive energy of compassion and understanding. You see, as long as you refuse to forgive someone – even yourself, you make it impossible for that relationship to evolve.

When it's someone else you refuse to forgive, you are giving them space, rent free, in your head. When it's yourself that you refuse to forgive, you stop yourself from healing and ever truly loving yourself.

When I first recovered the memory that I had been sexually abused by an adult I loved dearly I blamed myself. Why didn't I know it was wrong, why didn't I tell him to stop and what had I done that had led him to believe I was interested? This made me feel bad, wrong, faulty, dirty, broken, unlovable. For many years this feeling stuck with me. The few people I told about it reacted strongly typically with disgusts towards the man which only made me feel worse because deep down I believed I had caused it (although I never told them that).

It wasn't until I figured out it was me I had to forgive before I could move on in life that I was able to release this. This was more than just saying I forgive you – you can't fool yourself in that department. This involved finding little Debbie, taking her on my knee, hugging her and letting her know it was okay that she had manifested that experience. I told her we were stronger, smarter and better able to live our life fully because of it and thanked her.  We cried together as she expressed her fear and then we danced through a whole array of emotions as they surfaced and released.

Once that was done, we shifted our focus to seeing all the benefits that had come from this experience and sent love, forgiveness and gratitude to the perpetrator and all the adults who, had they known, would have wanted to protect me. This released the emotional hold of the memory so completely that I often forget it ever happened.

When you feel like you've been wronged or done something wrong …you carry that energy with you in your heart. As a result, you push yourself harder, are less trustful of your own guidance, you create impossible and inflexible standards for yourself AND you lower your vibrational energy.

Your mission, should you chose to accept it is to think about one thing you might be refusing to forgive yourself or someone else for. It doesn't really matter what it is… all that matters is that you bring it out of the attic and into your awareness so you can recognize how it is stealing power from you.

When you are able to forgive and learn to appreciate how that situation helped you become who you are today, everything changes.

The ability to forgive will help you plug a drain that is stealing your vibrancy and stopping you from fully owning your power. I know it feels like you are flexing your power muscles by refusing to forgive, but – as counterintuitive as it seems – the exact opposite is actually true.

By tuning into where you are disconnected from yourself and becoming aware of programs that are holding you back by running in your SCM, you open the door to all kinds of good things to come your way. By opening yourself up to receive those good things, you increase your vibrancy and refill your pleasure tank. By remembering to forgive both yourself and others when things don't go as you might have liked, you are benefitting from the lessons and plugging a drain that would otherwise put you back in your shadow. You're also reminding your ego that winning doesn't always look the way you had imagined.

These 3 practices will help you go off autopilot and raise your vibrational energy which means you will be there when your vibes attract great things back to you…and because you are open to receiving it they'll raise you even higher.

With much respect for you and the journey you are on…I wish you a vibrant and powerful day.

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