What to Do When You Don’t Know What the H*** to Do: Key strategies for keeping you successful and sane, with Dr. Maria Nemeth

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Meet today’s guest: 

Maria Nemeth

a psychologist and Master Certified Coach, helps purpose-driven people everywhere see their greatness and bring it all to life.

Designed and refined over decades of work with people all over the world, her Luminous Life Method™ turns timeless wisdom into practical skills that have helped tens of thousands to live and serve with clarity, focus, ease, and grace.

As Founder and Director of the Academy for Coaching Excellence, she has trained thousands of people worldwide in the nonprofit, for-profit, and governmental sectors.

She is a leading expert in leadership excellence, personal/professional development, and financial empowerment, whose work has been featured on The Oprah Winfrey Show. A lifelong agent of social change, Maria has contributed in areas such as civil rights, racial justice, women’s empowerment, health & human services, LGBTQ rights, and climate justice.

Maria is the author of two highly-acclaimed books: The Energy of Money, available in five languages, and its follow-up, Mastering Life’s Energies, both of which have given people everywhere a way to begin putting success principles into immediate practice in their lives.

In this half hour interview with Dr. Maria Nemeth you'll learn how to give the brain a break, the four aspects of success, how to avoid "Trouble at the Border" and so much more. I've captured some of the wisdom here, but I suggest you listen to the show for all the goods.

Give the Brain a Break!

When your eyes are tired and burning, what do you do? It's likely you take a rest from whatever you are making them do and help them recharge. Maybe you put on sunglasses, stop reading for a while or even close them for a moment to give them a break. The same is true when you notice your arms, feet, shoulders, or back are tired. You hear the message that they are running out of steam and you do what you need to in order to help them refresh.

What do you do when your brain is tired? Do you even notice and if so do you take action to do something about it?

When your brain gets tired you start receiving error messages instead of the information you seek. Similar to the "404 page not found" that occurs when the internet can't find a page you are looking for, your brain sends you an error code in the form of  incorrect information, confusion, doubt or uncertainty.

It's important you tune in when this is happening and take action to refresh the system. How you do this can be as simple as listening to music you enjoy for 5 minutes, taking a 10 minute walk outside, or reading something short and inspiring.

When you rest your brain it changes its operating state which means you can switch from stressed out or overwhelmed to refreshed and recharged. Similar to shutting down your computer so it can reboot and work out the errors, the brain is strengthened by a few minutes of disruption.

"Even 5 minutes can make a really big difference to your operating state. If you're sitting for a long time, stand up and walk around. If you've been standing for a long time, sit and listen to 5 minutes of music.  The fight, flight and freeze part of the brain (amygdala) actually hijacks the creative part of your brain. By changing the operating state you take this primitive part of your brain off line.

Know that when you don't know what the h*** to do, change the operating state of the brain and you will allow your voice of wisdom to come through and show you what to do next."

The Four Aspects of Success

Maria has a fresh and interesting take on success which she uses to help people live a more meaningful life. She shared a brief overview of what this means in the interview.

"Success is not about how much you do, but about the quality of your results in life."

Success is doing what you said you would do consistently with clarity, focus, ease and grace.

Clarity – is about becoming clear on what you really love to do, rather than just doing what you think you should be doing.

Focus – once you have clarity, learn to focus all your energy and attention on what is important to you. It's easy to become distracted in life…so make the effort to focus your attention on what you truly value.

Ease – take small but definite steps towards a particular dream that you have. Taking small steps like this will produce ease, rather than struggle. Yes this will take you out of your comfort zone, but that doesn't mean it has to be hurtful, overwhelming or too much for you to handle. Success is growing with ease.

Grace – the definition of grace is 'unearned blessing' and when you can bring this into your life in the form of gratitude you will be successful .

Trouble at the Border

There is something Maria calls "Trouble at the border" which is a natural phenomenon that we all go through when we are trying to do something new or different.  This can get in the way of us trying new things and actually implementing them into our lives.

For example, imagine you are looking for an exercise program you can do with your new baby at home. You've never tried yoga before, but when you read up on Baby Yoga and Me you decide it sounds perfect.  Although it looks rather easy, the moment you try it you realize it's harder to do than you thought it would be. Your Monkey Mind kicks in (a Buddhist term that refers to the part of your mind that's always chattering at you) and suddenly you are filled with doubt, uncertainty and a strong desire to put away the Baby Yoga DVD. I'll try it next week, you decide, when I'm less tired or baby is more agreeable, or my new shorts arrive…

We all know that, when this happens you are very unlikely to ever try Baby Yoga again.

What is being experienced here, Maria says, is Trouble at the Border. Because you are trying to learn something that requires a new skill set it will take a lot more energy than you originally thought it would take (about 10 times more)! This extra effort awakens your Monkey Mind which is often focused on keeping you firmly in your comfort zone. Excuses arise to rescue you from this extra effort and, if you allow it to derail you, your new undertaking will wind up in the trash.

Instead of allowing this to happen Maria says, scale back the project to make it achievable, but don't give it up completely. If you do you will miss out on many new and exciting things that if you stuck to it, would develop your skill set and allow you to grow.

When you try anything new…be it baking, painting, writing a book, learning a sport, taking a course, starting a job… expect it to feel awkward and challenging at the beginning and be gentle as you guide yourself through the process. Keep at it and before you know it you'll be able to do it with ease and grace.

Maria shared nuggets about the one thing great moms always do, why being a busy-aholic will not help you raise great kids and even a great tip for what you can do in any moment of overwhelm or exhaustion to change things instantly. Listen or download the podcast and get it all!

Website: http://acecoachtraining.com/

Gift:  To pick up your FR*EE Life Blueprint Guide from Maria as well as access many other wonderful resources  sign up at www.Acecoachtraining.com/blueprint

 

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