Starting with the end in mind

Podcast 029 - New Year Start

Since this podcast is airing not only at the start of a new year, but also at the start of a new 9 year cycle, I was inspired to share ideas for how you might use this opportunity to release, reset and clearly set your intentions.

In case you're new to the idea of a 9 year cycle, and you can't really move on until you know what I mean, let me give you a quick overview. In the world of numerology (which I'm a relatively new student of), when you take the numbers of any year and add them together and then reduce them to a single digit, you get a number from one to nine.  Because of the nature of math, once you established what any year is, you know you can just add one every year to get the next year's number. 2 + 0 + 1 + 7 = 10  Add these two numbers together and  1 + 0 = 1. 2017 is a one year.

This is really important (at least to Numerologists) because it means we are starting the next 9 year cycle. It also means that 2016 was a 9 year and therefore a year of completion, releasing, and basically working out any major unfinished business from the previous years. You might have noticed that it was a tough year for a lot of people.

If the numerology aspect interests you my favorite site is Numerologist.com which will give you far more than I will cover in this podcast. They also share ideas about astrology which is very tightly connected to numerology. It's an absolutely fascinating topic so it'll be on my vibrant mentions pinterest board if you are interested.

If this idea is totally new to you or it isn't new, but you haven't thought about it this year, then you might want to take a few moments and think about the past 9 years. What all happened in your life that came to a peak and either ended or changed course in the last year. Sometimes it's hard to know at this point in the journey what is ending, because you don't realize you've actually finished some of the things you have until about a year has gone by.

The previous 9 years…

For example, the previous nine year cycle started in 2007. For me, in hindsight, this was when I made the first motion to leave the school division I was currently working for (even though I loved it dearly). I signed a two year book contract with a self-publishing company and switched a piece of my full-time contract over to a grant position – meaning it would likely not last too many years. It felt like the right thing to do and I was excited to be turning this new corner.

In 2010 I left this position and started full time as an entrepreneur. I wrote a couple books, started presenting on my own (rather than for the school division) and put my energy into creating an on-line business.

Without giving it a lot of thought, if you asked me what the last 9 years had been about for me I would have said building a business, but that's actually not true. You see in 2007 when I decided to commit to writing a book and leave the school division, I knew I was running on fumes and even having the whole summer off wasn't enough to recharge myself. Turns out my adrenals were tanked, but I didn't know that at the time. So the Universe at that time was prompting me to leave a stressful, yet wonderful job, to look after myself better. Instead, I was prepping to leave one stressful job and jump into another very stressful lifestyle without a regular paycheque.

So in 2010, just before my book launched I was in an accident which I talked about in my first podcast and won't go into here, but suffice it to say, business building out of necessity had to drop down my priority list. I just found this frustrating at the time and put a lot of energy trying to figure out how I could still be moving my business forwards which is when I wrote my second book and launched my family booster shot cards. In other words, I wasn't really listening to what the Universe was suggesting, but instead was still pushing myself to create something meaningful.

This year as I've consciously reflected on this period of time I realized that my main focus was on healing myself and taking better care of myself by learning how to recharge my batteries. This included awakening to my divine feminine; developing a strong spiritual connection – which I had previously walked away from because of my confusion with religion; and really applying all that I was learning to my life.

I was being pushed not just to learn concepts to teach others, but to actually live it!

I was an active parent during this time, although my role was definitely shifting. At the start of the cycle my kids were 11 and 13 and this is exactly where I needed to adapt a little from full on mom, to more of a mentor and then from there to more like a cheerleader and occasional safety net.

I realized about 4 years into this cycle, that while my husband and I have a good relationship we were starting to drift. He was busy with his life and I was busy with mine. Since the kids didn't require as much of our focus it was easy to lose touch with each other.

I shifted my energy onto my relationship with my hubby because this is the relationship that had decided about 20 years before to be in for life. Now don't get me wrong, my kids I'm hoping will also be with me for life, however,  they are both adults now and while I'll always be their parent it is no longer my job to parent them. My relationship with my husband however, does not have the natural bond that I have with my kids. It requires more effort to stay connected.

With the kids I was learning to let-go of that which was never mine in the first place (i.e. making their decisions for them) and trust that all would be well. With my husband I was learning that love is an investment and requires some conscious effort to continue building or at least maintaining while still trusting that all will be well.

So that's what reflecting on the last 9 years looked like for me. Yours will be totally different and that's okay…necessary even. I encourage you however, to break it into chunks (kids, partner, friendships, work) and see how your top areas in life have evolved.

The next 9 years…

Now, as I sit here poised to start a new 9 year cycle I wonder at how things are about to change, which brings me to the point of this podcast.

Rather than set resolutions or intentions that focus on what you want to change this year, what if you aimed your attention at the 9 year cycle and what things are the most important to you (areas of priority) for these next nine years.

By thinking about where nine years can take you and then working it backwards to ensure your intentions are steering you in the right direction you naturally start to shift your point of view. Plus…the universe already works in this 9 year pattern, if you use the energies you are naturally surrounded by to help you get the most out of each 9 year segment you have a much greater chance of really living the life you have come here to live.

Stephen Covey referred to this as starting with the end in mind and it was a key part of his 7 habits work…only he wasn't necessarily tying it back to numerology.

How this might look…

For example, if your kids are currently five and three, then in 9 years they will be 14 and 12. Wow – teenagers. Are you ready? I know it seems like a far way off and as a result, perhaps beyond your control, but what's really cool about this is that you truly are setting the foundation for what things will be like with your child as a teenager right now.

So, what kind of relationship do you want to have with your child 9 years from now? Do you want to have one where conversations flow easily, where they come to you when they feel pressured by others or bullied? Do you want them to know that you have their back no matter what…or that there is no problem so great it cannot be solved? What about your relationship with your life partner, or if you don't have one, where would you like to be in that regard 9 years from now? If you aren't in a relationship or if you have a challenging relationship, then it is a good time to do some personal analysis on this topic. Do I want a loving a sexual relationship with someone else in my future? What areas might I need to work on to make that happen? Am I good on my own and if so, how am I going to ensure my very critical need for connection to others will still be met?

What about health? Where are you in that department and where would you like to be in 9 years? Given your current trajectory, are you likely to get there? I know this might not sound like a new idea, but in fact for many of us it is. AND what's really amazing about it, is because this is the start of a nine year cycle even the Universal Energies are ready to help you.

Let me show you what I mean…

Currently, most people who do not like the outcome they are currently getting put their energy into changing their action in an effort to get different results. This is one step better than doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the results to change (INSANE!)

For example, if you believe you are overweight and you don't want to be overweight any more, you might resolve to lose some. In fact the most common resolution people make is to lose weight or be healthier.

So, their current outcome = they are carrying extra weight, and/or lacking energy, or not necessarily overweight, but under muscled… They look at this current outcome and decide their actions are the problem, so they vow to make a change – they go on a diet, buy a gym membership or join a kickboxing class.

A month into the year, they catch a cold or have a stressful event transpire in their life (or even go on a winter holiday) and lose focus on their new action. It's too hard and they have to constantly remind themselves that they've changed their practiced way of being.

At this point they might decide their dreams are too lofty (I'll never lose weight, I'm genetically predisposed…) or that they need to lower their standards (maybe my vision of great energy is unrealistic…I just need to settle for feeling groggy all the time).

To really create sustainable results, you need to actually go back to your original point of view and shift your perspective to make long term, lasting changes. This is called a paradigm shift and it has the effect of helping us see things in a totally different light which can eliminate many of the blocks we have on that topic.

 Using the idea of a 9 year cycle, is a great way to shift your perspective, tune into and release some of the subconscious junk that is getting in your way.

Although the shift is immediate, the changes to get there will not happen overnight and you will not be able to do it in every area of your life at once. What's amazing though is that by starting the process in one area you create a domino like affect that slowly trickles down into every significant area of your life.

For example you enroll in a program to help you accept and love your body…from there you start eating better and exercising more. You're happier and find you want to play with your kids more. Your hubby notices this change and the two of you start getting along better. This happiness at home goes with you to work and your boss or clients notice…

A word of caution… this way of thinking is not about deciding on the outcomes (lose 20 pounds) or exactly how things should look in 9 years, but about capturing the essence of where you will be and determining where you need to put your energy right now to set you up for success.

Create a powerful vision…

In nine years I am healthy enough and energized enough to do things with my kids. We have fun together and search out things we can enjoy together (hiking, skiing, swimming). My energy is fed through my close positive connections with friends, a fulfilling career, being of service to others (volunteering) and a thriving relationship with my life partner.                                                                                            And so it is!

Compare your reality to your vision:

To have enough energy and be healthy enough to keep up with the kids I need to change how I'm treating my body and how much quality time I'm currently spending with them (they won't magically want to spend time with me as teenagers because I'm offering to do so). This means I need to value my health and take time for self-care.

Warning…subconscious blocks can still be a problem (i.e. like believing you are genetically doomed), so notice anything that comes up in the form of "Yes, buts" to your paradigm shift and if so seek out help to eliminate them.

If I continue on this trajectory when my kids are teens they might not even like me never mind want to spend time with me; I will likely be too sick and tired to play, if I don't have some kind of major health concern arise; my relationship with my husband will have deteriorated and will be a strain rather than a support; and while I might still have my job I'll be miserable.

The person I am in 9 years puts self-care as top priority. She eats healthy and delicious food, incorporates regular movement into her life and learns how to enjoy the great outdoors. She sees her relationship with her kids as a top priority and creatively figures out ways to enjoy their company.

Determine a starting point…

I struggle with putting myself first yet I also don't put enjoyment of kids or spending quality time with my hubby first. In fact I spend a lot of time feeling a bit like a martyr, keeping my house clean and going to a job I no longer enjoy.

Starting this year I will learn how to put myself first. My #1 drain is work. So I will open myself to the possibility of changing career paths or finding a hobby that I'm passionate about. I will learn how to eat well without depriving myself and setting myself up for failure and I will find ways to enjoy playing with my kids that gets me moving around more.  

Action bullets for 2017:

  • Learn self-care ideas and make regular self-care breaks part of my day
  • Search out things I find enticing re: career/hobby. Bring that into my life.
  • Learn about healthy eating versus dieting and 5 things I could do this year to make positive change without adding stress
  • Share my plan with 2 friends I can trust and ask them to hold me accountable
  • Celebrate reaching even the smallest of goals

Shameless plug: my program The Sisterhood of Vibrant, Powerful Moms teaches about health, parenting, building relationships, living on purpose and self-care. It starts in January and can help you catapult into these next 9 years, so please check it out if it resonates with you at all.

Once you've come up with your first step, check in monthly, quarterly at some other suitable interval to see where you are, then using your 9 year plan for guidance, figure out and implement the next step. You can also create a vision board for your 9 year plan and revisit it regularly to remind yourself of your new point of view.

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Quieting the Nag

Starting with the end in mind