It’s Time to Awaken
Today I'd like to share some of my deeper thoughts about being a Vibrant, Powerful Mom. This is about looking both inwards and outwards with a discerning and questioning eye.
One of my books is called, Standing in Your Power; A Guide for Living Your Life Fully Awake…and that is my real reason for being – to help as many people (women especially) to embrace all of the wonderful pieces that make them – them…and to let go of any of the things they might be doing that stops them from being who they have come here to be.
For some of you – you are basically happy and content and other than this little nagging idea that there might be more to life than you have been led to believe - overall things are good. This can result in a thirst to try new things and explore new ideas which is an okay place to be…unless you decide to ignore that nagging idea and just accept your life for what it is.
When that happens it's like you are ignoring the sign-posts, refusing to acknowledge the guidance you are being given which means the messages are going to have to increase in intensity and severity. It's kind of like a person throwing little pebbles at you to get your attention and when you ignore them using a rock or boulder to get you to tune in.
So if this is you – happy, yet pulled to learn more – I encourage you to not just note those things that come right to you, but to start noticing all the signs (if you aren't already) and rather than just observe and delight in them – actually use them to steer your course and push you out of your comfort zone.
For others, you might find yourself reacting to the idea of standing in your power and living your life fully awake as if this information does not apply to you because there is simply too much wrong in your life to ever fix it. This can surface as overwhelm, apathy, exhaustion, a belief you're cursed, victim mentality, etc, which often comes out in statements like… Forget it I'm too messed up, broken, confused, unlucky or I don't have the energy, I'm too tired too weak.
If this is you (and even if it's not), here's what I want you to know before anything else – you are already a vibrant and powerful being. You might not think so because your brain is so bogged down with information that has been programmed into you…things that were said to you often by well meaning adults in your life; instilled in you in church, taught to you in school or even internalized through advertising. Similar to the software running a computer, as long as you allow that program to run things, you will find it hard to see or do anything else.
The problem is all of this programming is running in the background (your subconscious mind) in the form of limiting beliefs, internal blocks or other hang-ups and you don't even realize they are running. These programs are typically created in the first 7 years of your life when your brain is busy creating millions of pathways from your experiences, your relationships and your environment.
Now before you go blaming your upbringing or thinking that nothing can fix the damage that was done in those first 7 years (or major traumas that have happened since)… here's the 2nd thing I want you to really grab a hold of… these things weren't done to you… they were done for you.
Think about that for a moment. If all the 'bad' things in your life were not meant to hurt you, but to help you grow in very specific ways, then it's impossible for you or anyone to truly be a victim! It means that all that time one puts into dreaming about the "if onlys", regretting a missed opportunity or lamenting a bad situation is not just a waste of time and energy, but misleading as well. The idea that these things were done for you – changes everything.
Now, I know some of you might not feel ready to hear this. I totally get how challenging it can be to accept that something you've always thought of as bad, unnecessary or a mistake (like a fork in the road that you missed) is really hard to see as a valuable and important part of your personal development…but it is! The fact that you are listening to this podcast further confirms that you are ready to move beyond that outdated belief.
Here's a little exercise you can do either now or later when it's safe to do so. Feel free to pause the podcast when you understand the task and are ready to begin…
Think about one thing in your life that you've always thought of as a bad thing – it could anything, an opportunity you missed, a way you were treated by another, a loss that you still feel the impact of. ..anything you wish hadn't happened.
After you've pulled it out of your memory banks I want you to shift into an objective stance – like you are an inspector (not the person it happened to) who has been tasked with the job of deciphering the advantages of this situation.
If you're struggling to get into this role, take a deep breath, tell your ego to sit and ask your higher self to be in charge. When you feel the emotions release you know you are ready to start the exercise.
Take a moment and reflect on any benefits that arose from this experience… any way that it changed your life – including people you met as a result, places you went, opportunities that arose, any skills you developed, life lessons it helped you with (i.e. used to be afraid of confrontation, but because of this situation you aren't any more), character development (I'm smarter, more business savvy…). Be thorough, stay open to any ideas that come to you and take creative license to get things flowing.
If you're still not clear let me share an example from my life.
I had a boyfriend in my teen years who was emotionally unstable. I know you can say that about most teenagers, but this was different, this guy had a very bitter mother and was super insecure as a result. This insecurity caused a lot of fights and misunderstandings between us. Despite this he was my first real boyfriend and we stayed together for over 3 years – in fact we even moved out together.
When I think back to that time with him, I learned so much about myself. As an inspector I would write down, confidence, relationship awareness (what my boundaries were), how difficult addiction could be to deal with, it helped me understand how women could get in an abusive relationship and stay, it helped me become a better communicator.
Now, I could end there, or I could take it even deeper – I could pretend to interview people around me and ask them what they thought I gained from this experience; my dad would say an ability to handle herself in difficult situations; my mom would say clarity on what she was willing to accept in life; my friend would say, a deep interest in what makes people tick along with an understanding of how people strike out when they are hurting…in fact, it's probably that relationship that helped her develop her skills as a social worker. It also taught her that sometimes love isn't enough – you can't change someone who doesn't want to be changed – and it gave her empathy for people who are in that situation now (back to the social work thing!).
As I sit with this further I realize that I would not have moved out if my boyfriend hadn't insisted – which helped me to become independent. It also taught me how to financial responsible – especially when I found out my employer wasn't taking income tax and I would have to pay a large sum at the end of year plus my weekly pay was now going to drop. These felt like bad things at the time, but it made me much more aware and gave me confidence that I could handle difficult situations.
I could go on, but I think you get the picture, so if you haven't already this is a good place to stop the podcast and do the exercise yourself.
When you are finished and if you gave it a really fair try, you'll likely notice that there were actually a lot of benefits to what felt like a bad thing at the time. So take a moment now and send a message of gratitude and appreciation to that situation/person – because even though it didn't feel good at the time, you now recognize how it helped you to become the person you are today. It made you stronger, smarter, more capable…it forced you to dig deep, to learn coping skills you might not have had otherwise, to be creative. This process alone can help you do some very deep healing and lead you on another journey of discovery.
Before you came here…
Your life was specially designed – by you and your soul group – to help you and all of humanity evolve in a certain way. To do this, life can't just be all joyful and easy – it is the really big challenges in your life that force you to grow the most. But, when your soul group (which included you) set up your contract in this lifetime, it took into account what you already knew as a soul, what kinds of supports you would have to deal with your challenges, how evolved humanity itself was…and so on. What it couldn't account for was how complete your disconnection from your SELF might be (i.e. how strongly you would stay connected to your ego versus your higher self); how humanity's current energy would affect you (negative energy of others can pull your energy down too) and what you might do with your free will (whether you might embrace the journey towards living your purpose fully or fight it at every turn).
And this brings us to our next big idea: your soul group does not see your experience here as success or failure – whether you complete your contract or not, there is much to be learned and every single mission is considered a success.
So, if you feel like you've been dealt a tough hand in life, it has happened for a reason. Everything that happens to you is within the realm of what you can handle. It may not seem like it at the time, but it is absolutely true. In fact, one of the people I follow and absolutely love – Kari Samuels, is a psychic who can communicate with the angels, amoung others, and she says that if you have a really tough life then you are a very evolved soul already…because you don't give a Kindergartener Algebra and expect them to figure it out.
Incidentally, anyone who is alive right now has been specially chosen to be here – which means you are not broken, weak or unfixable – but the soul who was thought to have the most promise by your soul group to achieve the goals sought after in this lifetime. This is thought to be a very important time in our history and WE are here…doesn't that make you feel special?
I'm going to stop here for today as I feel like this is enough information for those of you who are hearing some of this for the first time. I hope what I've shared today has ignited a spark for you a sense of connection, maybe even a sense of remembering. If it hasn't, do not be alarmed, how easily you reconnect depends on a lot of things – but ultimately, the fact that you have found my podcast in the sea of other podcasts is confirmation that you are ready.
Over the next week you might want to play with this information a bit. Feel free to share what you've heard with others (this is a great way to break down what you have heard into understanding chunks), journal about it, do an internet search, do the exercise shared a few times on different experiences you've had...
All I ask is that you open your mind to the tiniest possibility that life as you know it may not even be close to what it is truly meant to be. There is plenty of evidence out there to, at the very least create reasonable doubt – and hopefully enough to help you turn on your curiosity and find the evidence to prove or disprove this idea. Just a reminder of the really important points I shared:
you are already a vibrant and powerful being
'bad' or challenging things weren't done to you…they were done for you
it is the really big challenges in your life that force you to grow the most
your soul group does not see your experience here as success or failure
it was the soul who was thought to have the most promise by your soul group to that was allowed to come here at this time
Next week I'll share more of my story with you, flesh out some more of my thoughts on this very deep topic and, if we have time share some things you can do to start realigning with your power With much respect for you and the journey you are on…this is Debbie Pokornik wishing you a vibrant and powerful day!
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