Podcast 025 - Divine Energies
Today I'm going to tackle the big and important topic of Divine energies.
Talking about the Divine Masculine and Feminine is different than talking about gender, but because they intertwine so completely and are society has developed such strong opinions around these qualities it has become a bit confusing to unravel.
What's important to me is that you understand I am not trying to put anyone into a box and suggest that if they are male, female, transgender or would describe themselves in any other way, that what I am saying must apply to them whether they want it to or not. Please hear what I am saying with an open mind and heart so you can pick out the pieces that will have the greatest influence on your life today rather than put your energy into arguing with what is being said.
A big part of being a vibrant, powerful being, is self-awareness, and these divine energies have a huge influence on how we can thrive in this world.
I like to think of the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine as two energies that dance together to make a complete and beautiful picture. One is not better than the other except perhaps in how it applies to any moment in time. I think/ hope this will become clearer as I share more information, but for now suffice it to say that when the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine are properly balanced they allow you to live life to its fullest potential in every way.
All people need to access both of these energies in order to live a balanced, healthy and productive life. The amount they need will vary by person, circumstance, and even by current focus, but they both come into play for all of us.
I often use the analogy of a river to show people what I mean. Picture a river and for a few moments just focus on the water itself. What is it like? It's yielding, refreshing, nurturing, playful, fierce, life giving, creative, beautiful, fun…which all happen to be Divine Feminine qualities.
Now think about the river bed…the rock or earth that guides the river. What words might you use to describe it? Structured, focused, guiding, protective, strong, in-charge, productive…these describe the Divine Masculine.
Picture either of these without the other and what do you have? A riverbed without the water is meaningless. It has nothing to guide, protect, focus on…there is no reason for that riverbed to exist. The water without the riverbed is a swamp or a flood. Picture a field with many little puddles all evaporating because they were not contained or held together in a way that allowed them to function. These puddles become stagnant and disappear without support.
The water needs the riverbed and the riverbed needs the water.
Masculine energy: plan, provide, produce, protect, results focused, honour, respect, guiding, courageous, independent, strong, decisive, stable/calm, in-charge, intellectual, competitive, linear, left brain, yang. Outward focused; Ruled by thoughts; Recharged by achievement… Doing
Feminine energy: soft, nurturing, creative, fertile, flowing, open/receiving, unpredictable, flexible, wild/fierce, bubbly/playful, beautiful, wisdom/intuition, collaboration, cyclical, right brain, yin. Inward focused; Ruled by emotions; Recharged by pleasure… Being
Notice…It is the feminine side that opens you up to receive, fully engage in pleasure, build powerful relationships with others, be compassionate and release your optimal creativity. It’s worthwhile for all of us to embrace the feminine.
What's our reality?
Think about our current success model…what kinds of things are valued in our society? Competition; goals; produce, profit, independence; results; deadlines …
Our society has raised us to value our masculine and has labeled much of the feminine as weak or unnecessary. As a result, things like pleasure, emotion, compassion, nurturance, collaboration (which could also be called interdependence – when people work harmoniously together) are devalued, downplayed or ditched.
As well, when people are unbalanced we often get what's called distorted energy – so the Divine Masculine becomes Ego driven or self-focused, competition leads to 'dog eat dog' thinking, confidence becomes aggression, scarcity mentality is predominant, etc.
This worshiping of the divine masculine and disregard for the feminine has thrown our systems way off kilter leaving most people confused about what the problem is never mind how to fix it.
Some of the symptoms of this which you might be familiar with are: people feeling burnt-out, disconnected, or dissatisfied with life (especially women) despite what looks like a great life; relationships falling apart as two imbalanced people try to make things to work (I get a visual for this one of two people sitting on the same side of the teeter-totter and wo ndering why it's no fun!); health issues like crazy – especially things like auto-immune diseases and chronic fatigue…
Just a quick note: This is not about blaming anyone or anything for our imbalance. If you really want to make a difference tell your Ego to sit and focus on what you can do to make positive changes from here.
In sum, here's what you need to know…
- We have a very real problem that will not go away on its own.
- It's time for us to take action and start rebalancing things – for your own happiness, your kids future, our survival as a species – choose whichever speaks the loudest to you (or make up your own good reason).
- Even though we are talking about Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine energies this is not a gender issue. Both men and women need to draw on their masculine and feminine energies in a dance that works for them.
Where do you start?
Because we have gone too far into the masculine, many women will need to start with a higher feminine component in order to 'swing back' to center. This will often be a challenge since we have fully accepted the masculine model and will often see the feminine as 'fluffy; extravagant; lazy; ridiculous; unnecessary'! Top this off with the guilty feeling we get for looking after ourselves (pleasure) or putting ourselves first (self-care) and it can be a struggle to start making any changes, never mind the amount that is needed.
A woman spending too much time in her masculine will typically feel drained, unfulfilled or depressed (often despite great success) and may struggle with issues such as being considered a control-freak, perfectionist or just down-right scary. If you are experiencing any of these, don't wait for a diagnosis, burn out or relationship breakdown to motivate you to change. Start with a couple of things that truly bring you pleasure and make them a priority.
Opening up to the Divine Feminine is a very personal and wonderful experience. Even if you are a man remember there are major benefits to reconnecting with your feminine side and learning how to release the limiting beliefs that hold you back from living in a balanced state.
There is no fixed way to start making this reconnection, as we are all in different places on our journey, but here are some of my favorites based on my book Standing in Your Power.
- Recognize your emotions – this is not a new topic on these podcasts, so I don't want to spend a lot of time on this, but let me just say, one of the things we have done in order to adapt to the masculine model is cut ourselves off from our feelings. When you deny what you are feeling, you cut yourself off from your own message system! It is imperative you tune back into this critical guidance system and recognize it as a way to reconnect with your nurturing and compassionate feminine energy. Emotions are not 'touchy feely' nonsense, we should only bring out at funerals and weddings.
Quicktip: Start recognizing emotions as they arise and acknowledge them. For example: I feel you disappointment and thank you for signalling me. Dig deep for the word that would most closely describe what you are feeling not to be correct, but to start noticing the subtle differences in how you feel as well as how you react to that feeling. Similar to calling identical triplets by their correct names, this takes work and is very important.
Women experience the world through their emotional body first and intellectual mind second. Men are the opposite. This is a gender difference likely affected by hormones like testosterone and estrogen so it can vary greatly for us humans. Having said that, all humans are negatively affected if they 'numb out' and ignore or stuff their emotions. You can NOT be a vibrant powerful person and be numb at the same time!
- Connect and Collaborate - Connecting with others and having significant people in your life is an absolute must for women. Daniel Amen says: Men, if you want to live a long time, find yourself a good woman; Women if you want to live a long time, find yourself a good woman. We were never meant to stand alone and you’ll find that you can do more, easier, faster and better by connecting with others. Although women can compete with others effectively, connection through collaboration is what strengthens us.
Back in the cave days the women were the gatherers and went out in groups to watch each other's backs, cover more ground and help each other when required. This need hasn't changed.
Quicktip: Become aware of how much of your life is based on competition. See if you can recognize the difference between healthy, fun competition (makes you work harder, is fun/exciting and you're okay if you lose) and draining, self-worth lowering situations.
Cut out or at least decrease the competitive aspects in your life. Try to look at things from a collaborative point of view… How can we best work together for the good of the whole? Practice while driving, looking at your yard, at exercise class etc, and notice how warm and fuzzy collaboration feels compared to competition.
I discovered that when I'm playing cards or table games with my husband that I sometimes become far more competitive than is healthy for me. This can result in one unhappy wife after she loses for the 10th time in a row. The answer isn't for my hubby to let me win (that just angers me more), but for me to either shift my focus from the outcome (i.e. focus on how much fun we're having playing games together) or find something less competitive for me to do.
- The Pleasure of Movement – In the same way that masculine energy is fed through results, feminine energy is strengthened by pleasure. My next podcast is going to flesh out the topic of pleasure more fully, but I couldn't in good conscious leave it off this list.
Movement is extremely important to our bodies and helps to keep feminine energy flowing. Think of that bubbly, playful river flowing along without care or concern. If you feel stuck and need a refresher, find a corner for yourself and dance, sway or reconnect with Mother Earth.
Quicktip: A wonderful way to awaken your body and reconnect with the feminine is to remove your shoes and walk barefoot on the earth. Take a walk down a sandy beach, across a lawn or down a dirt path. It’s not great for freshly polished toenails, but the other benefits you will experience are worth it.
- Conceive, Dream, Create - Creativity flows from the feminine and allows the feminine to flow. Take risks and try new endeavours. Feminine energy loves an adventure. There are no bounds to what you can come upwith when you believe in yourself and are willing to dream. Create for the pleasure of it without care of the result. You may end up with something amazing, but if so, that's a bonus – not the purpose behind your endeavour.
Quicktip: If you’ve always liked to sing, play an instrument, daydream, draw or paint, but have been told it’s a waste of time or you’re not good enough at it, erase that block and do it now!
Your feminine energy conceives the idea, plays with that desire and awakens the creative spark to make it happen. Your masculine energy plans, executes and delivers the results.
- Tap into Your Intuition - Listen to your intuition. Pay attention when you know something is right, or feel strongly that you should go somewhere or avoid something. I've already done a podcast on this, but again, it had to be acknowledged.
Quicktip: Notice those moments when you say aloud or to yourself, I knew this was going to happen – why didn't I listen? Those are examples of when your heard your intuition, but ignored it. By acknowledging these moments you turn up the volume so that the next time you might get to respond with, This is exactly why I brought the umbrella – even though it wasn't forecasted, I sensed we might need it!
- Open Yourself up to Receive – We just talked about this one in a recent podcast and it's worth repeating here. Imagine what it would be like if the river refused to receive the rain or to open up to the guidance of the riverbed. Until you are able to receive gracefully and joyfully, you will struggle to become balanced.
Receiving is not a sign of weakness, but one of trust, strength and self-care. To receive you must allow yourself to be vulnerable – which is, in turn, a critical part of shifting into feminine energy flow. This sounds strange, but it is absolutely true. Once again, you might think of the river – the water has no idea of where it is flowing to, it simply has to open up and trust the riverbed to take it where it needs to go.
Quicktip: One way to practice this idea is to make a point of asking for help with something on a regular basis. Simple examples: Can you take this dish to the table for me? Can you knock on the door in 10 minutes to remind me we have to get ready for your game? Can you help me fold the laundry so it goes faster? Big examples: I want to move the couch upstairs, can you help me? Can you make supper tonight, I'm going to be late? I've got too many things on my 'to do' list, do you think you could help me with some?
Mix it up (who you are asking, what you are asking for, simple vs big asks), allow yourself to be vulnerable (I need help; I can't seem to do this myself; this would be easier if you were to help me) and make your request. If they won't help you that's a different discussion, but for now pat yourself on the back anyway for asking (and hopefully opening up to receiving) the help.
- Fill Yourself Up First - Right on the heels of opening up to receiving is taking the time to look after yourself first. The river is not strengthened through deprivation and neither is the feminine. Although there are times when we need to deprive ourselves in order to heal, overall things like fasts, overwork or extreme exercise do not serve us. It’s okay to be healthy and fit, but be sure it makes you feel stronger in more ways than just the physical.
Quicktip: Simple things like taking time for yourself, getting enough sleep, getting out in the sunshine, quieting your mind, dancing, singing, laughing and loving touch are all examples of how you might refill your tank.
Insist on time for self-care and avoid martyring yourself for the family. You will find your family is happier when you are feeling strong.
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